We may have seen a child angry or crying uncontrollably, and the parent reacts with equally intense emotions, perhaps even scolding and blaming the child or other people who caused the child’s anger or tears.
Perhaps it would be better for parents not to respond to a child’s emotions with equally emotional reactions. Remember, children will imitate how parents express those inappropriate emotions.
Therefore, make sure parents have the ability to express emotions appropriately. Parents often find it difficult to manage emotions due to internal factors, not the child. Parents get angry because it is based on their needs, not the needs and learning experiences of the child.
It is advisable for parents to choose a suitable time and place to address a child when there is emotional pressure. Perhaps these tips can be applied when dealing with children under pressure:
- Listen carefully with your whole body. Make eye contact and gently touch the child.
-Give the child time to express her emotions. But be firm about not violating the agreed upon rules. “You can cry a lot, but don’t damage or tear the books.” - Respond with a single word, not with long advice, to allow the child to express himself freely. “Oh, sure.” or “Mmmm…”
- Label the feelings the child is experiencing. “I know it feels like there is a powder keg erupting in your casket. It’s unwelcome, is not it?”
-Name the child’s behavior and then link it to her emotion. “You kicked because you were angry, right?” - When we are emotional, separate calmly. Let’s say we need time to calm down. Once calm, initiate physical contact with the child. If they refuse, approach them physically.
- Comment on other behaviors that can be performed when experiencing the same emotion. “Instead of getting tired of yelling, when you’re angry, you can say you don’t like it.”
- Once the anger has subsided, take steps to resolve the conflict together with the child.
There are many other ways to control a child’s emotions. But the essence is to try to face an emotional child calmly and empathize with what stirs in the child’s heart.
